Parker - Film District

As a Jason Statham fan, it takes a little more convincing to get me to not see one of his movies. The only reason I didn’t see “Parker” in the theatres was because I was busy opening weekend and it was out of my local cineplex before I had a chance to go. Dan did see it, however, and he made some observations about the film that would probably deter me from seeing it if the star was anyone else. But let’s see how I react to these comments as a Statham fan. I’ll put Dan’s comments in quotes, then my response after it:

“Jason Statham kicks ass as always, but even he looked bored at times.” That’s not boredom, that’s stoic coolness in the face of adversity. Would you rather he looked scared? Not me. I like my Statham characters cooler than a cucumber and graceful under pressure.

“If you want to see a good Statham heist movie, check out ‘The Bank Job.’” Damn right.

Stock up on sunscreen and hit up the beaches and theme Toxic Officeparks this summer, friends, because there isn’t going to be much reason to stay inside plastered in front of the tube. Joining the handful of returning summer programs, this year we get an eclectic mix of half-hearted new reality shows, yawn-inducing procedurals, and a couple almost interesting game shows. Perhaps it may be best just to pick up Dan Brown’s new book “Inferno” and find out what Robert Langdon has been up too since “The Lost Symbol.”

Fox

“The Goodwin Games”
(Premieres Monday, May 20th)

The estranged grown children of a wealthy deceased man return home to compete for the inheritance that he left them through a personalized game of Trivial Pursuit. Along the way, they discover the people their father wanted them to become and must also compete against a family outsider, named executor of the fortune. The show was pushed back until summer and given a reduced episode order of thirteen to ten so it doesn’t seem Fox has much hope in it from the start.

“Toxic Office: Does Someone Have to Go?”
(Premieres Thursday May 23, 9:00PM)

The boardroom doors will open and the reins of real companies will be passed along to the employees as they make the tough decisions that their bosses don’t know need to be made. That is, they will be given the power to terminate co-workers who don’t perform up to standard or are somehow hurting the company.

Serena and Venus Williams in VENUS AND SERENA, a Magnolia Pictures release. Photo courtesy of Magnolia Pictures. Photo credit: Getty Images

Is it worth $10? Yes

“The ghetto‘ll make you real strong, real tough. Make you think you can do anything, and you will.” Like many statements and actions of patriarch Richard Williams, this comment is debatable. In the highly seductive documentary “Venus and Serena,” Mr. Williams also admits to formulating a 78-page plan for his daughters’ tennis careers, as a business investment, before they were even born. Creepy as that may seem, as the film progresses, it becomes impossible not to applaud him for his indispensable role in the women’s astonishing success.

Co-directors Maiken Baird and Michelle Major somehow avoid making this a movie about controversies. It’s surprisingly balanced in its approach, touching on the tough and more light-hearted issues. Not such an easy task considering the potential: race in tennis, sibling rivalry, parents pushing kids too hard in sports, the Williams sisters’ “bad attitudes,” money, etc. All these topics are addressed, but the film isn’t bogged down with them. Some of the best moments here come from interviews with the button-cute 11 year-old Venus and 10 year-old Serena. An insightful sequence focuses on the grown women’s love-lives and shows the slightly romantically clueless sisters in rare flirtatious and confidential modes. For what some might call a tennis documentary, Baird and Major create a loose, fun, and free-spirited film.

Reality - Oscilloscope Laboratories

Is it worth $10? Yes

Grand Prize Winner at the Festival de Cannes, the Italian-language film “Reality” is a comedy/drama so light on its feet that, at times, it feels like it will float off the screen. That’s not to say the subject matter is always light—it most definitely is not. Besides the comedic adventure of fortyish Luciano (Aniello Arena) trying to become a contestant on the Italian version of the “Big Brother” TV show, there are some good, hard looks here at issues like depression, family dynamics, and spirituality.

The story begins to take shape when Luciano meets Enzo, a TV personality whose résumé includes having spent 18 days in the “Big Brother” house. One of Luciano’s grade-school-age daughters idolizes Enzo. An owner-operator of a fish stand, Luciano feels at once inadequate and inspired in the presence of this TV man. The seed is thus planted for the fishmonger’s foray into the world of reality television.

Star Trek Into Darkness - Paramount

Is it worth $15 (3D)? Yes

“Star Trek Into Darkness” is a true film-going experience, and an awesome one at that. If you thought director J.J. Abrams’ 2009 reboot to the sci-fi franchise was a fluke, think again: Any movie that can have me genuinely laughing, then give me sweaty palms during tense moments and goose bumps during emotional high points, is a substantial accomplishment.

This movie is fun. It starts on a remote red planet on which Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) and Bones (Karl Urban) are fleeing a group of primitive natives. On the starship Enterprise first officer Spock (Zachary Quinto), communications specialist Uhura (Zoe Saldana), pilot Sulu (John Cho), chief engineer Scotty (Simon Pegg) and young ensign Chekov (Anton Yelchin) keep a close eye on the proceedings.

I recently took advantage of Director Shane BlackNew York City's deep and rich repertory of cinema options to take in a small art film in search of a wider audience: Iron Man Three. Because it barely even grossed $175 million its opening weekend, I'm sure the filmmakers and cast will appreciate the exposure I'm giving it here, so, y'know, you're welcome Shane Black/RDJ/Gwyneth Paltrow/Guy Pearce/Ben Kingsley/James Badge Dale/et al. Hope this helps.

So, yeah. There's probably been enough written about the Iron Man pictures and the Avengers solo movies and the much ballyhooed Whedonized team-up one from last summer, and there's definitely been enough if you're a curmudgeonly fuck like me who sprains his balls sighing whenever a new comic book movie gets greenlit. It's not that I don't like comic books. I liked them a lot when I was in junior high, and I still like them a bit (in theory, mostly, it's been a while since I actually bought one). I respect what comics as a form afford artists and writers creatively: the possibilities of interplay between visual art and text are endless. Even the traditions of comics, literally tied to the pulps as they are, are in some regard more liberating than they are restricting, because comics writers are restricted only by the limits of their imaginations.

BUT. HOWEVER. ON THE OTHER HAND. CONVERSELY. The annals of comic book history are home to a lot of really stupid shit. And the orthodoxy of comics fandom leads to a lot of that really stupid shit being regarded with a reverence based more on the fact that it already exists than on its actual merits. And every time a new comic book movie comes out, we have to sit through months of bullshit about whether x fleeting image in y teaser trailer bears sufficient resemblance to z thing that appeared in a comic book forty years ago. This brings us to my single favorite part of Iron Man Three, a lovely little fuck you to fandom derp, which will require spoilers to discuss in any kind of detail so forewarned is forearmed and all that jazz, but in general speaks to the picture's deft balance between totally being an Iron Man movie in all the important ways while not slavishly adhering to a bunch of silly bullshit.

Independence Day Poster

Finally some plot details are known about the direction Roland Emmerich (“The Patriot”) intends to take the announced “Independence Day” sequels. Joblo is reporting that Emmerich talked about the differences between the aliens and humans at a screening recently, “That’s actually what we (him and co-writer Dean Devlin) talked a lot about. The mythology of why did the aliens come in the first place, what is the bigger story of this whole thing? And we talked a lot about swarm intelligence. And [the humans] are individual intelligence. Even though we kill each other and have wars against each other, we have something special. We have this domino human spirit to believe in good and overcoming enemies. And it’s a little bit about that and when you get a bigger mythology going, I think then you have the chance to do not only one or two or three but you can create a series and that’s what we want to do.” Jeff Goldblum (“Jurassic Park”) also confirmed that there is a place for him in the sequels should he want to return (basically if he likes the script and the money is right). It is still unknown if Will Smith will return. I think this could be a fun summer flick that I would love to see, but only if they get the entire original surviving cast to reprise their roles.